No.1 GREG.

YES!! It starts. The gun has fired and I have begun the race!
I bought my first stranger a coffee! Actually it’s not a race at all. I don’t why I made the analogy. I just like the idea of firing a gun to start this off.
Not a real gun of course I just pointed my index finger in the air and made a ‘bbscoooh" noise.
Awesome noises aside, here is how I met my first stranger..

I was walking around town for almost half an hour going into different café’s looking for someone to have coffee with. How on Earth was I going to approach someone?How the hell was I ACTUALLY going to do this?? And why the hell was anyone going to agree to do it?!
I was starting to feel very nervous, apprehensive and extremely negative about the whole thing. The way someone might feel just before they are about to be shot out of a cannon. Though far worse because I wasn’t wearing a helmet.

I studied the loads of people sitting outside Café Buongiorno but no one seemed approachable! They either looked to busy or too serious or to crazy or kissing someone or were a dog or had glasses or had hair.
See NO ONE looked approachable! I decided this was just a dumb idea and I decided to give up.

THE END.

So there you go. I know it didn’t last long but hey.. we all have stupid ideas don’t we.
As I’d fully accepted my defeat I briefly glanced once more at the kissing couple, the dog and a man with hair and smiled at the idea of not bothering them.
Though the man with hair was sitting more inside the café, than outside of it.
Though actually… his table wasn’t really inside the café enough to be outside. But yet not really outside enough to be inside it. Do you follow?
I kept walking. But then I stopped.

I took a second look. Outside or inside I wondered. DAMN him he was both!! Or was he neither! It infuriated me! Even more infuriating was the fact he didn’t seem bothered by it at all! How could he be so calm about sitting like that?! Can you believe it?! I was going to have to run over and drag his table a few inches for him! But what way would I drag it?!? Further inside or outside?!! Damn it!! I was about to die!! I could feel it! Then he made eye contact with me and I realised that I was staring and that I had to stop or he’d call the police or the army or my mother.
But I had to do something. And then it dawned on me! That something was surely to ask him for coffee! So I did. And he smiled and said without hesitation ‘sure.’

Not quite inside-not quite outside man was slim with a ponytail and a kind face.
I decided to call Not quite inside-not quite outside man NQINQOM for short.
I then shortened that to Greg. Conveniently this was his name.

Greg was working on an astrology chart for his friend’s mother when I met him.
As well as an astrologer, Greg is also a professional illustrator and is the guy who does the pictures in those ‘How to Draw’ books. Not only that, Greg can play guitar quite well and aspires to branch into photography and screenwriting!
I presume he will start a business where you go to him for an astrology reading and rather than just telling your future he actually delivers it in the form of an animated cartoon musical adventure and then takes photos of you as you watch it.

THE GREG FACT FILE
AGE: 37
STATUS: Single
FAVORITE SONG: None
FAVORITE MOVIE: None
FAVORITE BOOK: None

Right now Greg must look like a rather negative person. Or boring as batshite.
Rather, Greg actively refrains from judging the quality of a piece of art over another preferring to appreciate the work in its own right. Therefore you probably will not see Greg as a judge on Australian Idol any time soon.

GOAL FOR THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: To achieve semi-professional work as a photographic artist.

SOMETHING THAT PISSES GREG OFF IS manipulative forces. Mainly those in authority in such areas as government and the music industry who manipulate artists and people to fit a certain ideal rather than allow them full expression.

SOMETHING THAT EXCITES GREG IS: Beautiful women.
Granted, men like women. The survival of our race depends on it. Then there’s Greg.
A man who believes the human female form at its point of maturity is the single most beautiful phenomenon in the universe. For over twenty minutes Greg passionately justified his fascination using Indian philosophy, intelligent design theory and his own illustrations (yes illustrations!) which he pulled out of a yellow folder. After his genuine and very sincere speech I could see that appreciating all the girls of the world was merely my conquest as a male specimen and I immediately forgave myself for all the times I’d picked up at the Arkaba.

A BELIEF GREG WOULD INSTILL IN PEOPLE IF HE HAD THE POWER OF BRAINWASHING IS: To realise they are as equally powerful and have equal potential to achieve the same heights as the next person.

A QUESTION GREG DECIDED TO ASK ME WAS… "So do you do standup do you?"
ANSWER: Yes. Yes I do. (Probably accompanied with a wink and click of the finger)

THOUGHTS WHEN I INITIALLY ASKED HIM FOR COFFEE: That he was very open to it and often meets people in a similar random manner.

OTHER THINGS YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT GREG!
*Greg knows someone who’s a friend of actor/comedian Jim Carey.
*Greg prefers not to have his photo taken. He fears it will steal his energy.
*Greg ordered a weak cuppaccino

I was very, very happy with my first coffee with a stranger. Yeah. This was a good thing to be doing. Conversation came very easily and there was loads more I wanted to ask but ran out of time! In fact so genuinely engaging was my time with Greg that I completely forgot to address how he could stand being neither inside or outside the café.
As I walked away I came to a shocking realisation! I to had been not quite inside or outside the café! For an entire hour and a half! What the buggers?!? How could I do this without losing my freakin’ mind?!
Wow. I had a feeling I’d grow somewhat by starting this project. But not like this!

It felt good! Empowered!

So now if you walk down a street and see someone sitting not quite inside or outside a café nodding at you with a huge smile on their face you’ll know it is me. Or Greg if he’s with a beautiful woman. Though it may not be Greg because such things don’t seem to phase him. Further you probably wont notice anyway because you’re not a freak and only a freak would even take the time to ponder something like that.

Until next time,
Mark and Greg.